What TV show do you wish would go off the air for good?

GLEE. FUCKING GLEE.
I know I say this too much and people are giving me a lot of shit for it, but I'm pretty fucking sick of this show. I gave it a chance. I watched three episodes. I wasn't impressed. And people love it so much. And that's just a horrible combination.
Yeah, I hate it when people hate stuff just because it's popular, like when people bash Hetalia for being so mainstream now or like won't watch Inception because everyone else did. But what I hate is when something's BAD, harmlessly so, like Twilight was once, and then it becomes harmful when it gets overrated and overdone. Also, Glee, stop fucking up my music.
I really don't hate it as much as I say I do - the acting, at least, is really good, even if the writing's clumsy, and there's a character or two who's interesting - I'm just so sick of having it force-fed down my throat. Goway.

Grabby hands for answers

Do you believe in ghosts?

I'm terrified of them, but it doesn't mean I believe in them. I'm not sure how I feel about them. They scare the pants offa me, they're cool, they might be real and they might not be real and I'm not about to go looking to find out.

Basically, everyone in Japan believes in ghosts. The morning after I heard thumping under my bed in the night while I was on a field trip in Tokyo, all my Japanese school friends kept asking if I had seen it and whether or not I often saw ghosts. One girl told me a story about her mom seeing ghosts around the house as though telling me she'd forgotten to pack her toothbrush. They're all crazy into it. (I do take into account that they're Japanese, so...)

Grabby hands for answers

SAY NO MORE MON AMOUR.

(unrelated song quote is unrelated)

More updates on where I'm gonna be internet-wise for the next year or so!

LiveJournal: esquallia.livejournal.com (Izquierda と Droite)

FanFiction: fanfiction.net/u/1551581/ (Influxus) <--- vaguely inactive as of yet; but not for long.

deviantART: ribbon-behavior.deviantart.com (Ribbon-Behaviour) <--- ditto... changing, though.

Tumblr: cantfathomit.tumblr.com (8:13 AM)

Formspring: formspring.me/douestalest (Hom)

:D :D :D

And altogether it went well, we made pretend...

EATING: Mango ice cream

DRINKING: Raspberry Spritzer
WATCHING: Nabari no Ou
LISTENING TO: Sufjan Stevens
READING: American Gods
MOOD: Unromantic?

Me and Courtney broke up. And yeah, it seems to me she took it pretty badly, and it seems to her I... didn't. It's weird not having a girlfriend anymore, to be honest. It's weird not having been dating the same person for a year and a half anymore. It's different. Still wondering if that is a BADDD thing or a GOODDD thing. I did see her in the hallway with her arms around one of her friends in a manner as though they were dating. Now I care, right?

I AM SUCH A HORRIFICALLY PREDICTABLE INDIVIDUAL D8

I am distracting myself with copius amounts of ice cream, Gaiman, and Doctor Who because anime stopped working when I realized my work-in-progress Gravitation AMV was set to our self-proclaimed theme song. I don't miss her, I don't think, I think it's more the idea of having a girlfriend that I miss.

Um, which would be better?

Yes I'm back in black!

I can now be found on Livejournal, for the most part. I may occasionally post the bigass kickass rants I'm known to post. Also all my pairings and quotes are here so of course I'm keeping it up.


But LJ is so much fun 8D

I cannot lie, from you I cannot hide.

EATING: Chocolate sorbet

DRINKING: Smoothie
WATCHING: "Anime Munters"
LISTENING TO: Iggy's character CD
READING: Shinshi Doumei Cross (vol. 4)
MOOD: Discouraged

And now I’m gonna get super philosophical on why gay in the media is such a big deal to me.

It’s not just me having an unhampered adoration for same-sex couples. I’m actually really, really bothered when heterosexuality becomes the fallback for any TV show or anime. People are straight unless otherwise specified. Moreover, people are going to be involved in heterosexual relationships unless otherwise specified. It’s stupid. I understand that far less than half the human populus is openly bisexual or homosexual, but why is it necessary that we emphasise that fact in our media? When we meet someone in real life – or at least this is what I do, and I wish that this applied to everyone else – we don’t assume unquestioningly that they’re straight. We get to know them a little bit better first. Homosexuality shouldn’t come as a shock because we should know better than to write a non-flamboyant guy or an actually feminine girl off as straight without question. Everyone is very explicitly different in that manner, so why should our media’s only gay characters need to be the absolute pinnacle, the polished stereotype of gay? Why would we as creators portray being straight as normal and being gay as against the norm?

The worst part of this is when people are convinced that they’re not being homophobic because the protagonist of their story is gay. Big fucking deal. If you really are going to support the aspect of homonormativity in addition to heteronormativity through your story, then that’s absolutely fantastic. But if the gay character being gay makes him “special” – well, then, that’s something different. He or she has to be explicitly stated to be gay or else he or she must be straight. He has to be explicitly aimed at being in a relationship with another man, or she with another woman, or else everyone’s going to expect there to be a heterosexual couple.

M’bob, this isn’t me attacking you or what you said at all. Dun’t worry bumble. What I’m saying is that it’s frustrating when being straight acts as the default, or for a bisexual character, being in an opposite-sex relationship, and I hate even seeing a trace of that in your or anyone else’s writing. Skye is an example. He’s bi – obviously – but he doesn’t end up with Seismic because she’s the girl and he’s the guy and he’s not in a previously established homosexual relationship. He ends up with Seismic because he genuinely cares for her, not as a fallback. It shouldn’t be immediately assumed about a character like him that he’ll be with a girl instead of a guy just because he doesn’t have a guy to end up with (this is disregarding his and Aeleus’ kind of homoerotic ‘friendship,’ lol); it’s established that he is specifically in love with Seismic. So, yeah, I don’t think a character should be pegged as anything unless they make it clear what their interests are.

Heteronormativity is just so frustrating x(

If lies were cats you'd be a litter.

DRINKING: Chamomile tea (slowwwwly recovering)
WATCHING: Kill Bill vol 1
LISTENING TO: Scissor Sisters
READING: Great Battles
PLAYING: Nevermore 3
MOOD: 8D


OMG MY KITTY <3

Jackson's making little humming noises in the back of his throat as he's sleeping. It's beginning to sound like a cross between a purr and a ribbit. My cat is a frog in disguise.

I watched some more Merlin instead of starting Kuroshitsuji like I'm supposed to have done already because this show is suddenly really addictive. U gaiz, not doing so well with keeping track of my requests, u gaiz.

Sheesh, I'm such a shitty active!fan sometimes.

But OMG MY KITTY <3

La penisola italiana ha un suo stivale.

DRINKING: Peppermint tea
WATCHING: Tokyo Godfathers
LISTENING TO: B'z
READING: Great Battles
PLAYING: Nevermore 3
MOOD: Improving

Feliks, marry me. (It has been far, far too long since I read me some APH. Poland's a damn good place to start.) I'm thinking of doing a comic about Poland and his various nanoscopically contributory escapades, aided by Liet because Liet is nothing without Poland but LietPol is boss. Na na na na na~ Thoughts?

(This is, of course, all after my Julius Caesar porn is complete. Judra is also demanding some Duskmic smut before the end of the day, and I'm still sick, plus I have an English paper to work on. Talk about project delay.)

Also, I'm beyond pissed about that Husbands and Husbands vid being taken down, partially because that kid was goddamn awfully cute, but primarily because the world is such a horribly homophobic place :(

Blessed among all women to have forgotten everything.

DRINKING: Chamomile tea
WATCHING: 2010 Oscars' Horror Tribute
LISTENING TO: Simone Cristicchi
READING: Elie Wiesel, Night
PLAYING: Nevermore 3
MOOD: Gross >:G



Word on everything Rex-Dart said about heteronormativity being the bane of us gays' existence, just btw. She's a FrUKing genius. Not that I didn't already think so. -standing ovation-

I'm sick, and it's horrible. I've been bedridden for practically two whole days and throwing up constantly and it's nasty, I'm telling you. Everyone in my family was a total sweety about it and came by to help take care of me, but unfortunately I'm still not feeling much better. Tra says I'll jinx myself blogging and end up like the chick on last week's House (over which I'm still happily raving - Wilson x porno + House watching said porno = epic win) but I don't care because I think Courtney misses me interneting. Also, whatever, it's not like I have anything bleeding better to do right now. DX

I finished Out, at least. Finally. Holy Roman Empire was that a good book. I think I may have fallen vaguely in love with 桐野夏生-sensei, as well as Miyamori for being ~*adorable*~ throughout the whole story. Seriously, Masako was cool as shit but I wanted to punch her sometimes, as did I Jumonji for not being gay like we all knew he was. Everyone else bothered the hell out of me. I think Miyamori should have his own fandom, though. Yup. This is what I'm doing whilst lounging in bed, reading. BUT HEY AT LEAST I'M NOT IN A BLACKOUT LIKE THE REST OF MY SCHOOL. I LOL'D WHEN I HEARD.

Also started watching Merlin, since everyone on my friends list was all SO I HERD U LIEK BRITTISHK TVEEE and it got reco'd to me about a thousand times over. Hey, what can I say? It's not bad. Now I have younger!Camelot to add to my list of nerdy headcanons. Colin Morgan is an absolute riot as the title character and yes before anyone says anything I did in fact recognize him from a DW episode and I was all liek whoa over that. Also I noticed that practically the whole fandom is slashing Merlin and Arthur and it's giving me a warm fuzzy feeling inside, as is Gwen, who is hands-down one of the cutest persons I've EVER seen, up there on my new!list with Carey Mulligan. Heart -punch- But while I haven't progressed supremely in watching the show, I've still gotta wonder why the hell somebody's out to get Arthur in every flipping episode. I mean clearly he's an ass but so is Yuki and everyone wants Yuki. Everyone wants Arthur... dead. Veee~?

The rest of my time yesterday and today has been devoted to researching Kyoto Seika more thoroughly. I must express some concern at their incredibly small acceptance rate of foreign admissions students. O_____o At least I'm not the wappy plz-teach-me-how-to-draw-manga weeaboo they seem to warn against in their advice panel towards Comic Art-aimed applicants. Blehhh. I would love to pass the Level II Kanji exam in the future but I know that I'm a bad tester. I suppose it should be to my advantage in their eyes that I'm at about the top Japanese language school in America. But whatever. I've got tad time left to study up. Is this what taking oneself seriously looks like?

Um, nothing else other than Hanna makes me wanna badly relive Queen days, and Tessa Stone is really fucking rad for having a guest artist week. Necrophilia forever (I'm only half kidding).

I'll be your medicine and more.

EATING: Lebanese takeout
DRINKING: Vanilla chai tea
WATCHING: Back to the Future ♡
LISTENING TO: Gregory & the Hawk
READING: Natsuo Kirino, Out 
MOOD: Miffed


Finally got around to finishing that DW episode. And I mean, it was beautiful, and I did fall in love with John Simm all over again, but oh how I wanted my homoerotic timelord-on-timelord subtext, and I didn't get nearly nearly nearly enough of it. Those two usually make me excited enough to consider watching real TV for a change, keyword being consider, but I was sorely let down, especially looking at the fact that I GOT WHAT LIKE THREE DOCTOR WHO EPISODES AS THEIR HALF-ASSED IDEA OF A SEASON.

MattSmithyouhadbettermakeupforthissomehow.

In the same vein of thinking, I can't find the new Hetalia episode anywhere. It's more than a little frustrating. I shouldn't have to wait thirty-five days for five minutes of animation, nor should anyone who watches the show. And it's like it still doesn't even exist. If anyone can link me to 51 (raw or subbed is fine), it'd be much appreciated. 8D8

Fuckin' America and his fuckin' ghosts.

Europa's blood is borne of these.

EATING: Indian
DRINKING: Venti Mocha Frapp
WATCHING: Doctor Who ("The End of Time")
LISTENING TO: Krapbiva
READING: Natsuo Kirino, Out 
MOOD: Sappy


I just made a new desktop image. I sacrificed half my fucking night.

 So I think I had a pretty engaging debate in the car with my father on the difference between a good parody and a bad parody. And, um, I'm not quite sure how it got started, because I remember that when he picked me up from the GSDM we were talking about how Pulp Fiction saved John Travolta's career. But we both kinda have the same mindset and somehow he jumped right into the conversation when I wound up talking about Hetalia.

Let's get one thing clear - my dad is not the world's biggest fan of anime and manga. He makes fun of the stone-cut demographics, criticizing (though lightheartedly enough) the animation gags and design prototypes, and of course he can't take any aspect of it seriously. Not to mention, I think exposure to Tra's and my yaoi fetish scares him away from anime... with good reason, I suppose. I didn't expect him to display any actual interest in my rather one-sided conversation about Hetalia, which he didn't, but I really didn't expect him to argue his preoccupation with the offensiveness of its mere premise. And I mean really.

Aw, c'mon, it's not that bad. AXIS FUCKING POWERS FUCKING HETALIA is a parody, a joke, if you will. Not that I don't watch it religiously, but it's not meant to be taken seriously. It's a play on the irony and absurdity of some of our world's historical doings and happenings. It's an oddly comic little angle that shows us just how stupid humans can be when bound together as a nation, just how ridiculously we handle our diplomacy. Or lack thereof. While Hetalia is lighthearted, gentle, and face it, guys - damn near completely harmless - I for one also see it as clever. The endearing qualities of some (all!) of the Hetalian personifications are like a backhanded compliment, it seems, showing how childish a nation's preoccupations, values, grudges, and desires really can be. The representation of countries as characters may be attributed to Himaruya Hidekaz-sensei (for which I am utterly grateful), but I feel like it's something plenty of us are able to notice subconsciously. Countries often behave in a similar fashion to that of humans, of cute anime characters, even. It's a sensible personification. It's a parody with a good, strong origin.

Granted, I'm not saying Hetalia is the substitute for a history textbook, and while it has taught me plenty, I'm also aware that it's not meant to be taken seriously. Hetalia is fun for people who know their history. It's fun either way - I know M'bob can't recognize the events played back in "Europa" for jack shit, and she adores APH - but I feel that it's especially fun when recognized as the silly, occasionally inaccurate historical parody that it is. It's not offensive. At least I don't see it that way. It isn't making a joke out of the billions of people who've died by way of war, bombing, revolution, abolition, hatred and uprising; it's making fun of the way we've acted diplomatically. Our universal relations. We should look at it and be able to laugh at ourselves, though gently; I know I am.

Really, though, it's not intended to offend. Just putting that out there.

Komiageteku, tsuka no ma no sayonara mo.

EATING: Strawberry Pocky

DRINKING: Bottled Water

WATCHING: Junjou Romantica (Season II, Episode 4)

LISTENING TO: Paul Simon

READING: "The Seme in Semeku"

MOOD: Excited (and not just because of "The Seme in Semeku")

So basically tomorrow (today?) is my and Court's first anniversary, and I'm not gonna be able to see her tomorrow because there's no school and anyway, we're both snowed in. Grrr, it's friggin' difficult. I feel like it's a bad omen - would omen really be the right word? I think reflection is better applied here - pertaining to our relationship over the past year. It's never been easy for the two of us to see each other, but I'm gonna hope that I can make up for at least this shitty anniversary by taking her ice skating on the 26th. The last time we went she fell down four times and it was adorable.

My own dad's only met my girlfriend-of-a-whole-year briefly, when I ran into him after our Halloween date, and he was in a hurry then, so they didn't get a chance to talk at all. My mom was complaining about how she barely knows Court and really wants to, hopefully soon. They've always had kind of that attitude towards her. Me, on the other hand? ...I don't think her parents like me very much. I think (at least for her dad) it has something to do with me being white. Yeah. Sweet, huh?

So to procrastinate my presents to her (no peeking - I'll post after she gets 'em), I've been reading an excessive amount of webcomic. M'bob showed me Hanna Is Not a Boys' Name, but I don't remember how I found this lovely comic with its lovely excess of gay. Clever cartoonists never fail to please and amuse me.

I really have to go see the new Nostalgia Critic eppy, and then I really have to get some sleep, and then I really have to definitely-not-oversleep and then I really have to finish these anniversary presents that I fear aren't up to par. Doin' my best, though...

Is there anyone who's going to listen to my story?

EATING: Fireballs

DRINKING: Monster

WATCHING: Seven Colors of Hetalia

LISTENING TO: Happoradio

READING: Natsuo Kirino, Out

MOOD: Meh.


This is silly. I just got Google Chrome and already it's slowed my technological life down by about 80%. Not that I exactly mind having Hatsune Miku hovering at the top of my browser 24/7, but it'd be nice to load pages in a shorter amount of time than that which it takes me to read them.

Also, Draw is trying to force Teen Moms on me and Tra. Go figure. She says it's either Teen Moms or Teen Titans until I get her that Miniscus porn she's impatiently waiting on. Though I'm concerned for my sister's sanity because I think that she's actually enjoying this ridiculous reality show.

"I wasn't into him at first because he rides four-wheelers. Which totally, absolutely are not cool."

WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE. THIS IS WORSE THAN JON AND KATE.

Denn uns're Liebe ist erfror'n.

EATING: Pita Chips

DRINKING: Spritz

WATCHING: Kannazuki no Miko (Episode 5)

LISTENING TO: Iceman

READING: Natsuo Kirino, Out

MOOD: Perturbed


I've been working my ass off for the past month and a half studying. And studying. And studying. And yes, I've had plenty of after-hours time for the occasional doodle but all big projects are on hold until I get my act together. Those aren't just my mom's words, either. Sheesh. But yeah, my grades were down the drain for a while and my parents were pissed. Not that I much blame them. Hey, they want me to get into KSU just as badly as I want me to, so, yanno, I'll do whatever they recommend is best.

On another note, English lately has been our whole big Animal Farm analysis, and while I'm not usually the system's 'recommended reading' as much a lit nerd like me should be (Great Expectations being the exception to prove the rule, as well as Julius Caesar if only for its homoerotic subtext), I flipped a shit when I found out we were doing this book. "YESSS. IN-DEPTH STUDY OF COMMUNISM AND SOCIALISM. HISTORICAL GEEKS UNITE." Except, as it turns out, not really. My Eng teacher is a really smart guy, but looking around the class lately it's come to my attention that few to none of the students can actually recognize AF's full depth, centrally because we really never did Soviet history.

GAHH. HOW CAN YOU READ ANIMAL FUCKING FARM WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT SOVIET HISTORY?? IT'S LIKE WATCHING HOUSE WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT SHERLOCK HOLMES. HELL, IT'S LIKE PLAYING DDR ON MUTE. You miss half the fun, and probably screw yourself over in terms of what you get out of it. It's insane. I realize that our high school doesn't exactly have a fruitful history curriculum, but why are we reading AF if nobody's quite sure of who Joseph Stalin was? It doesn't make sense!

Even I, h•buff that I am, spent a considerable amount of time with my new edition of Great Battles open to check the parallels between the Battle of Stalingrad and the Pilkington attack. (Um, wait, I think it was Pilkington and not Frederick, but we've got an AF final tomorrow so I'd better make sure...) Oh, shit, that was Frederick. My apologies. But the point of the matter still stands: You can't read this book without a bit of background knowledge, and Kami-sama, you get so much more out of it if you know more than a bit. I just wish people would do a little damn research. It wouldn't kill you. You don't have to spend hour after hour on Wikipedia reading every solitary detail about Belarusian economical growth during the 20th century, but seriously, this is Animal Farm!

Hell, you're probably reading this rant and laughing your asses off at how nerdy I sound. Well, I'm sorry. I'm just not that big into school (who is?!) and seeing something I actually find fun appear in my curriculum and then having my excitement crushed by my classmates' feet doesn't amount to a happy Hom. Anyway. I hope you enjoyed that little splurge of geekiness, and in case anyone was concerned, I'll try to stick to anime fangirling and leave my history-loving side alone whilst on this blog from now on. (Although Hetalia is no solution to the problem.)

That being said, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!! Get me outta fucking school!!